would i be different?

This may end up a being a bit of me just rambling so I apologize for that.  I actually wrote a little bit about this earlier in the year, but this seemed like a good time to share some of my feelings.  Yesterday (September 28th) marked 19 years since I was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma in my right hand.  Well, to be honest, the doctors actually went back and forth a few times on which cancer it was before settling.  While I may have lost my hand, I still know how lucky I was that the cancer was caught early on before any spreading had occurred.

Even though I was just 8 at the time, I still have a lot of memories from then.  Friends would come visit me at the hospital and family members from far away came to see me.  That meant a lot to me.  I remember getting a lot of cool stuff, too.  For instance, I still have a letter of encouragement from Bob Knight.  I also have a soccer ball signed by the 1992 Big Ten Champion Indiana Hoosiers and a baseball signed by the 1992 Atlanta Braves.  I also still have boxes of baseball cards from that time.  We hit up the Gift Shop constantly haha.  These things certainly kept my spirits up and helped me get through it.

Today it's kinda funny because having one hand is just part of who I am.  But I don't think it really defines me.  I still have friends tell me things like, "Dude sometimes I forget you only have one hand."  Things like that make me feel good because I don't want to be treated or thought of differently.  I feel so comfortable with my situation and am able to make jokes about it nowadays.  This is terrible, but I need to share.  When I was in 6th grade (King of the Bus) the little kids would ask me how I lost my arm.  Common answers were "I lost it in World War III" or my personal favorite "I got magic marker on my hand and it wouldn't come out...." Looking back I'm sure that scared the shit out of them.  Here are a few other funny things I remember over the years:
1. One time a kid told me the end of my arm looked like a potato.
2. Another kid told me my arm was both cool and freaky in the same sentence, as in, "Your arm is cool, but it's freaky too."
3.  This summer I had a 20 minute conversation with a kid at soccer camp who told me everything he thought I couldn't do.  He started every sentence with, "I bet you can't...."  He seriously thought I couldn't shovel snow.  What a little shit.  He also didn't think I could talk on the phone while driving.  I told him, "I do, but I shouldn't."

I do sometimes wonder how things would be different if I didn't lose my hand.  I can't speak for everyone, but I would think most people I know would say I'm a pretty nice person.  I kinda wonder if I would have ended up as more of an asshole haha.  It's just interesting for me to think about because I'm pretty satisfied with how I turned out.  There isn't really a whole lot I would change.  Other people might feel differently about that though lol.

Regardless, right now I have very little to complain about.  My work brings me a lot of satisfaction and I'm surrounded by many great people so I feel lucky.  I'm hopeful it stays that way for a long, long time...